The Times They Ain’t Changed Enough
It left the crowd wowed. Over four hundred lesbians gathered on Thursday, March 5th at Miami Beach’s Colony Theatre for a special screening of "If These Walls Could Talk". This superb HBO production features 3 short films taking on issues facing lesbians in the 60's, 70's, and today, respectively. Executive produced by Ellen DeGeneres and featuring stunning performances from Vanessa Redgrave, Sharon Stone, Chloe Sevigny, and the divine Ms. DeGeneres herself, the representations were truthful and the issues addressed, timeless.
The first of the three segments is set in 1961 and stars a radiant Vanessa
Redgrave as a closeted (as most had to be during that time) lesbian, who
goes through the agonizing experience of losing her beloved life partner
in a sudden accident. Because her lover had left no will or other testamentary
document, she then loses the home they had shared together to the estranged
family, and can only stand by when they swoop down to clean out the home
and sell the property the two had accumulated during their years together.
The story is told with tender and heartbreaking honesty.
It left not a dry eye in the theatre.
Presumably, the film hit too close to home for many members of
the audience, with far too many of them and/or their friends having suffered
the type of insults depicted so graphically.
The problem, of course, is that the type of injustice depicted
in the film as occurring in 1961 is unfortunately not a thing of the past.
In some respects the situation for lesbians and gay men has improved,
but in too many others it has not.
Who Gets Your Stuff
The law in Florida provides that absent a Will, all of your property,
from the stuff in the house, to all of your savings of whatever kind,
to any real property you might own, will pass at your death (i)first to
a surviving spouse (only legalized heterosexual relationships, of course,
fit into this category); (ii) then any children you might have; (iii)
then to your parents, and; (iv) next to your siblings.
Although this “cookie cutter” formula works fine for most straight
folks, for many of the rest of us, it would not be the desired result.
In fact, if you think through your situation, you might realize
that the dictates of the law can be a recipe for disaster.
We cannot state strongly enough
the importance of each person, no matter what their wishes or their circumstances,
having protected themselves by making a will.
Even if you do not think you have a significant estate,
you still want to be able to give your household furnishings and little
checking account to the person of your choosing.
Also, you might want someone other than a member of your biological
family to administer your estate, and to make sure that your wishes are
followed through honorably and respectfully.
This is also designated in your will.
The Painful Truth: You’re Not “Family”
The film also depicted the horror and isolation felt
by Vanessa Redgrave’s character felt during a time of high stress, when
she was denied access to her lover in intensive care because she was not
considered “family”. Again,
this is not only a reality of the 1960’s.
Absent a signed document titled Designation
of Health Care Surrogate, your life partner will not be able to
make medical decisions for you if that needs to be done, nor even have
access to you in a restricted hospital ward.
These documents are so easy to obtain and so powerful,
yet so few of us bother to follow through with getting them put in place.
In our law practice we see horror stories almost every day about
the results of failing to adequately protect ourselves and those we care
about. Whether you’re young or old, rich or poor, single or coupled,
you need an estate plan. And
if you are have been smart enough to already put into place an estate
plan, revisit
it - make sure it is updated.
This includes policies you have through work or any other type
of investment or account that allows to you name a designated beneficiary.
The results of not having these simple documents in place can be
devastating. The pain, isolation, and sense of helplessness were very
real then, and they still are.
This is Really Real
A court case just came to our attention which provides
a perfect illustration of this tragic scenario, in the event that the
“movie” version may seem too distant, fictionalized or dramatic for you.
A man died in Washington State in 1995 without leaving a will.
He was survived by his life partner of 28 years.
His partner sued, asserting his right to inherit his partner’s
estate based on the length and commitment of their relationship.
The Appeals Court has proceeded to deny him any rights in his partner’s
estate, on the stated basis that only the Legislature was empowered to
extend inheritance rights to gay couples.
Without any such legal foundation, the court fudged, it could find
no precedent for analogizing same-sex relationships to heterosexual marriages
in the arena of inheritance rights.
Practically speaking, when you take into consideration the shoddy
dynamics of politics, that means we’re on our own if we are to protect
ourselves. We cannot rely
on anyone else to do it for us.
Just Do It!
Imagine having to spend 5 years wandering through the
legal system spending your valuable emotional, and financial resources
to legitimize your relationship in the eyes of the law.
We may not have the right to marry, but we do have the right to
contract. All of the drama
both in that film and in the life of that Washington man’s surviving lover
could have been avoided with a some forethought and a few simple documents.
Why not give yourself and those you love the piece of mind of having
these protections in place? You
are worth it!
We hope this column will help motivate you to do what needs to be done and tell your friends to do the same. Please check us out next time, and as always, e-mail me with any feedback. Thank you!
Originally published in The Gay Financial Network, March 2000.